For the last 4 nights, I have been pulled from a deep slumber (yeah right, more like a cat nap) and overwhelmed with anxiety. Each night Reese wakes me up with his normal need for a nightcap, but while I'm rocking him, I begin to feel extremely anxious. I've got a lot of stress on me with Cory leaving next week and buying our house and moving as well as trying to figure out where God is wanting me to be when I get back to SC (not as far as living, but more along the lines of what he wants me to be doing). Stress is not something I am a stranger to. As a matter of fact, I usually do my best work under stress. But this is crippling. I am frozen with fear that I am going to make the wrong decisions. I am having second thoughts about everything from buying our house to the career path that I have chosen. I am constantly flooded with thoughts of how will I protect our family while Cory is away - he has given me such security. What if something happens in the house, what if someone breaks in, what if one of the kids get hurt and I freeze and don't know what to do, what if something happens to Cory - WHAT IF?!?!? I think those have got to be the most frightening 2 words in the English language. I am finding myself doubting every decision I've made and have to make in the near future. I know that God is trying to talk to me and I am trying earnestly to open my heart and ears to listen. But I'm hearing nothing. Has this happened to you? I know that God wants to share with me, but I feel like I'm deaf or too stupid to understand. I am praying for peace and direction (as well as for safety for Cory and understanding for our kids), that's all I know to do. Will you pray with me and for me? I know there are some awesome prayer warriors out there. Just as you are going over your prayer lists, could you remember to throw me and my family in there? And if you ever find yourself up at 3 am (4am for you East coasters), think of me!
Tuesday, July 1, 2008
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9 comments:
I am up most nights right at about 4 so Georgia and I will pray for your family. It sounds like Satan is getting to you. Remember that when his darkness overwhelms us it's hard to see the light of Jesus. Keep praying and that light will break through! Sometimes when I don't have any other words I just pray "Lord, give me peace" over and over.
I can't stand for Jon to be gone for one night so I can't imagine what you are feeling! Praying for you!
Please know we are praying for you! I know sometimes it is hard to feel the Lord's voice in the midst of a storm, but He is there and never failing.
The house anxiety is normal for a first time buyer. We had it to.
Let us know if we can do anything.
Love you.
Christan,
I was on Jaime's blog and decided to pop in on yours to see how your family was doing. I don't think it was a coincidence. I don't usually leave long comments, but my heart began to beat more strongly as I read your entry, so here goes. Sister, I will pray for you as you come to mind. With God's help, fight and pray against this anxiety. I have a story of dealing with this, so my heart goes out to you and others who deal with this. God brought me through a lot of healing with panic attacks and anxiety. Honey, so many people, especially women are subject to this stress, but the devil would like to isolate you and make you feel alone. You're not alone. :) I don't know all you are dealing with or what you're feeling, but I do know that He knows. Mightily pursue God's word for verses on fear and anxiety. Those who are leaders and the supposed "strong" and able to work great under stress are the most prey to anxiety.
In addition to being in His living and active word and praying, I would suggest a couple of things that helped me.
1. Eliminate all caffeine after 4pm. Stop it completely for a while if you can. It's poison for anxiety.
2. Cut way back on your sugar, especially at night.
3. Eliminate MSG (monosodium glutamate) from your diet. It's side effects can add to anxiety. It's in so many things and is under other names. I encourage you to research it.
Those things should help with your insomnia and nervousness.
I pray that you will find peace and encouragement, especially in the wee hours of the night. :) I would also encourage you to write down all the things that are making you anxious. Take captive every anxious thought, the scriptures say. What are some stressful things you can change or can't? Lay them at His feet. Saturate yourself in his word. Say the name of Jesus out loud.
Be encouraged!
God bless you!
Love,
Allison
Thank you ladies for your uplifting words. Today I've felt uneasy all day, so I pray that this doesn't turn into a constant anxiety. Hopefully tonight will not bring the fear. I find myself not wanting to fall asleep. Again, thanks for your thoughts and prayers!!!
I'm praying too! :-) You are not alone!
sweet christan, you and your family are in my prayers. you are brave and God is going to give you everything you need to get through the next days and months. when satan is trying to attack you, just start quoting scripture! nothing scares him off like God's promises!
I forgot to mention to try to eliminate the sugar substitute aspartame. I don't know if you're a diet drinker/sugar free gum chewer/eater or not, but doing research on that chemical when I had gestational diabetes showed me that it can cause panic and anxiety in people. Just thought I'd mention it.
I pray you are feeling encouraged today. God loves you and cares for you.
Christan,
I will be praying for you. I have struggled with overwhelming fear during nights when Tim is away, and I have found that reading scripture out loud, praying out loud, and plain old telling Satan to be gone helps. It may feel silly at first, but we have to speak some things out loud for Satan to hear them. Also, listening to some praise music. I hope the advice helps, and that you have peace in all situations. You have a lot coming up in the next few weeks, but I have no doubt that God has been preparing you for all of this throughout your life. You are stronger than you know!
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