T.G.F.F.

I know its TGIF, but tonight I am thanking God for family. Although I miss Cory terribly and I still feel like poo, my birthday was better than I thought it would be. I had lunch with Brian, Hannah and Annie - Kanpai YUM!!! And then I headed over to Amy's for the afternoon and dinner. Traci and her crew joined us for dinner and it was so nice just to sit around and talk. We have such a great time together! I am so blessed to have family (b/c my friends are as close to family as anyone) that swoops in and cheers me up when I'm down! I love you all and thank you for making my day as special as it could be!!!

Birthday shout out part 2.

Today I wanna give another birthday shout out to a good friend of ours, Zach!! Happy birthday buddy! I couldn't imagine another person I would rather share MY day with! (remember it is my day, I was here first). We miss you guys and hope to see you when this is all over!!!
Also, today is MY birthday! Happy Birthday to me. Although its not too happy, I'm sick with some sort of head cold (I think) and I'm all alone! I miss my husband. I'm doing lunch with Brian and Annie, and then dinner with The Harters and Traynhams! Right now I'm going to lay back down, I'm not feeling so hot! Have a wonderful Sunday!

Birthday SHOUT OUT!

Today is my niece's birthday. Hannah is 3 yrs old! I don't get to spend near as much time with her (or her parents) as I'd like due to distance and being busy, but I hope they all know I love them! I can't believe how fast these 3 years have flown by! Happy Birthday, Hannah!! I know you'll have a wonderful day!

Not so happy birthday

This weekend is mine and Cory's birthday weekend. My birthday is Sunday and Cory's is Monday. It looks like I'll be spending it by myself for the most part (with the exception of Reese). The parentals are heading to the Lake for one last hoorah before the girls gear up with their activities. Most of my friends are busy with their own stuff. This is my weekend off work, so I don't even get to spend it with those crazy people! I am supposed to do something with Brian and Annie, but other than that, its just me, the baby and the couch! Its times like these that I really miss my hubby. We always do something extra special because our birthdays are only a day apart.
We did get some exciting news today, but I'm gonna refrain from sharing until we know for sure! Its shocking, but what in our life hasn't been lately!?!? Be sure to check in periodically so you don't miss the big news!!!
Have a wonderful weekend!!!

Bring on the rain

You know the old saying "when it rains, it pours" ? That's how I feel right now. I feel like screaming. I think it would terrify my kids if I did, so for now, I'll blog. The last two days have been SO frustrating. I've gone back to work, and before I even get to my actual job, I think I may quit. That is not a good sign. I'm not going to get into the details. Its really all stuff that should be no big deal, but others are making it HUGE and I'm having to decide if I really want to be a part of all this again.
I'm not totally in love with Reese's daycare situation. And it goes far beyond the fact that I know no one will ever love and care for him the way I do. I would love to find someone who stays home and would like to keep him. Someone I know and trust. He's not being mistreated. They take really good care of him and he's happy everyday when I pick him up. But there are other factors that I'm not too excited about. Please pray that God will send me something to ease my mind either way - take him out or leave him in!
Cory's got some craziness going on. Shocking, I know! I know there's nothing I can do about but it doesn't keep me from getting frustrated by it all. Can't share too many details right now. Hopefully by next week, it will be over and done with. Some things, however, will NEVER change apparently.
The house situation is still the same. The "rentors" (that's so funny for me to say because who ever I thought that I would be a landlord, hahaha) are still waiting for their house to be done. Hopefully by mid Sept, it will done and we can move in. I'm so ready for the move to be over and to not be living out of bags and boxes.
If you know anyone who would be willing to keep little man 2 days one week and 3 the next, let me know. I only want him to go the days AFTER I work (I work nights). Say a prayer for my sanity and Cory's safety! Today is only Tuesday and I am already ready for this week to be behind me! But to quote one of my most favorite songs by Jo Dee Messina, "Tomorrow's another day; I'm thirsty anyway; So bring on the rain"!!!

Monday, rainy Monday

So it rained today, YEAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I have never been so happy to see the rain in my life. I've got a million things I want to say, and I feel like I need to say them all, but I can't come up with the right words. Does anybody out there understand? As soon as I get my brain in order, I'll be sure to post! I've got several birthday shout outs and exciting events going on! Hopefully soon I'll get rid of this ADD and be a little more productive!

Another angel guarding our troops

We, the Blue Spaders, are once again mourning the loss of yet another soldier. As a wife, this is very disheartening as my heart aches for the family of the fallen. Please pray for this family, that they will not only find peace in such a difficult time, but they will see GOD in it all. I also ask that you remember the other soldiers... the number of losses they have endured so far has got to be devastating and discouraging. And while you're praying,would you please pray for the spouses left behind, that we may find the words of encouragement that our husbands need to hear in such a time and that we may find peace from worry. Thank you!

Heartbroken

It was bound to happen, and today it did. I have always been VERY diligent about having my phone with me and handy so that if Cory called, I could answer. I sleep WITH my phone (not just on the night table beside me, but actually with it). Its always clipped to me or in my hand, no matter what I'm doing. And if by some chance, you see me and its not in my hand or on my hip, look at my ear - I have my blue tooth in! I've become quite obsessed with it, actually. I've only missed one call before today and that was when we were at the lake and he was able to leave the sweetest message for us! I knew I would probably miss that one.
But today, as I was heading to the car to go to lunch with Amy, my phone rang. It was down at the bottom of my purse and of course I could not get to it in time. I looked at the missed number and it wasn't a number I recognized. I breathed a sigh of relief. I checked my voicemail and my heart began to break. It was Cory. He was using a satellite phone and the message was broken. I sobbed. I haven't spoken with him in 5 days now, and the one chance I had, I couldn't get to my phone! Lesson learned: I've got to come up with some way to literally attach it to my hand, but still be able to use my hand! Either that, or glue my blue tooth to my ear. Anybody with any good ideas, I'll split the profit with you! Necessity breeds invention -isn't that what they say?

Tuesday tidbits

The girls started FIRST grade today. Unfortunately, I couldn't take them to school because I was S-I-C-K. Not just sick, but S-I-C-K. Luckily, though, Mom and John could take them and actually walk them in. I was feeling well enough to pick them up this afternoon. They were SO excited when they got in the car this afternoon. I don't think they took but two breaths the whole way home (between the two of them). They love their new school, new teachers and new friends. I know this year will be a great one for them.
Tomorrow will be Reese's first day at day care. I'm more than an little nervous. I plan on putting him there for a couple of hours tomm and Wed and then Fri he'll have to stay for most of the day (I have to have some tests run that will take several hours). I know he'll do well and it will be a welcomed break for both of us! I love my little man, but I think it will be beneficial to have this time apart. And when I go back to work, he'll be able to go so that I can sleep some! So although I am nervous, I know this is the best thing for us all!
I still haven't heard from Cory. Its fast approaching Day 4! It makes me sad and I would do just about anything to hear his voice! So, honey, if you're out there... CT PHONE HOME! I love you and I miss you!
So that's about it for now. Nothing too exciting! Just trying to keep busy! Hope you all are having a wonderful week!

Just a poem

I GOT YOUR BACK
I am a small and precious child, my dad’s been sent to fight…
The only place I’ll see his face, is in my dreams at night.
He will be gone too many days for my young mind to keep track.
I may be sad, but I am proud.
My daddy’s got your back.


I am a caring mother; my son has gone to war…
My mind is filled with worries that I have never known before.
Everyday I try to keep my thoughts from turning black.
I may be scared, but I am proud.
My son has got your back.


I am a strong and loving wife, with a husband soon to go.
There are times I’m terrified, in a way most never know.
I bite my lip, and force a smile, as I watch my husband pack…
My heart may break, but I am proud.
My husband’s got your back…


I am a soldier…
Serving proudly, standing tall.
I fight for freedom, yours and mine, by answering this call.
I do my job while knowing, the thanks it sometimes lacks.
Say a prayer that I’ll come home.
It’s me who’s got your back.

*A tribute by Autumn Parker. For her husband and soldier. Til they all come home!

Fallen Soldier

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We, the Blue Spaders, are mourning the loss of a fellow soldier. Please pray for this family, for comfort in this time of loss. Also, please pray for our other soldiers who are having to deal with the loss of a brother in arms. Thanks you guys!!

Frozen in time...

Tonight was "Meet the Teacher" for the girls! They are at a new school (not only new to them, but to everyone else going there too). They are in seperate classes this year, but I feel really good about it. Hailey's teacher (we'll call her SC) is someone we know from outside of school. I am SO excited that she is Hailey's teacher. Samantha's teacher (we'll call her M&M) has over 30 years experience in education! She seemed really nice too. The girls are excited to begin the year. And what more could I ask for than a beautiful school (full of teachers, parents and administrators that I know personally) a one time teacher of the year, and a teacher with more years' experience in education than I've been alive!
As I walked through the halls of the school, I saw so many people I knew and was shocked that their kids were in elementary school!!! I know it sounds strange, but I think in my mind I thought that when we went to Texas, that everyone would just stop growing. So the kids that were 3 and shy when I left should still be that way. But seeing them walking through the halls of the school with confidence and excitement kind of stunned me! And the thought that their siblings (some of them) were going into middle school or even high school took my breath away! I guess the world didn't get my memo.... NO ONE GROWS UNTIL I RETURN (so I don't miss anything). Either that, or my mind was just frozen in time!

Because I'm bored...

Directions: Place an X by all the things you've done and remove the X from the ones you have not. Answer the 30 questions at the end and tag 3 (or more) of your friends to play too!
(This is for your entire life.)
(x ) Gone on a blind date
(x) Skipped school
( x) Watched someone die
( ) Gone to Canada
( ) Gone to Mexico
(x) Gone on a plane
( ) Jumped out of a plane
(x) Been on a Helicopter -
(x) Gotten lost
(x)Gone on the opposite side of the country
(x) Gone to Washington, DC
(x) Swam in the ocean
(x) Cried your self to sleep
( ) Played cops and robbers
(x) Recently colored with crayons
(x) Sang Karaoke
(x)Paid for a meal with coins only
(x) Done something you told yourself you wouldn't
(x) Made prank phone calls
(x) Laughed until some kind of beverage came out of your nose
(x) Caught a snowflake on your tongue
(x) Danced in the rain
(x) Written a letter to Santa Claus
(x) Gotten kissed under the mistletoe
(x) Watched the sunrise with someone you care about
(x) Blown bubbles
(x) Gone ice-skating
( ) Gone Skiing (water & snow) - I waterski, but I've never been snow sking.
(x) Gone skinny dipping outdoors
(x) Gone to the movies
( ) Gone to a drive-in movie
1. Any nickname? Squirt (by my brother), Chris, Baby, any sort of weird name Cory can come up with
2. Mother's name? Lita
3. Favorite drink? Sweet tea, and I have a new addiction to Crystal Light Lemonade
4. Tattoo? yep, 2
5. Body piercings? used to but I think they've all closed by now
6. How much do you love your job? Ask me next month!!!
7. Birthplace? Spartanburg, SC
8. Favorite vacation spot? Anywhere but the beach
9. Ever been to Africa ? no, but I'd love to
10. Ever eaten cookies for dinner? I'm sure at some point
11. Ever been on TV? in the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade, in the Rose Bowl Parade
12. Ever steal any traffic sign? no
13. Ever been in a car accident? A couple but NONE of them were my fault
14. Drive a 2-door or 4-door vehicle? 4 door
15. Favorite salad dressing? ranch
16. Favorite pie? apple
17. Favorite number? anything even
18. Favorite movie? Probably Dirty Dancing is my all time favorite
19. Favorite holiday? Thanksgiving - I love to eat!! (and hopefully my hubby will be here by then!)
20. Favorite dessert? brownies, I guess
21. Favorite food? don't really have one
22. Favorite day of the week? any day I don't have to work! It alternates
23. What do you do to relax? what's that?
24. Favorite toothpaste? anything that doesn't burn my mouth
25. Favorite smell? clean laundry
26. What month were you born in? August (31st to be exact - write it down!)
27. Favorite Candle Scent? Mango
28. How do you see yourself in 10 years? Loving my husband and kids, doing something in the Medical field
29. What 3 people do you tag to do this meme? Tina, Annie, &anyone who hasn't done it!
30. Who will be the first to respond? we'll see

So there I was, in Academy Sports...

crying!!! I find myself crying in the strangest places these days. Cory called this afternoon. I had given up on talking to him today. Chalked it up to business or blackout. So I was so excited to look at my phone and see CMT on the caller ID. He's doing good. He had a REALLY cool day today where he treated his first "official" patient. That's what Cory's there for so he LOVES to do his job. Its a running joke in EMS that we are the only profession that wishes really bad things on really good people (solely so we can do what we've trained to do). Anyway, back to the story.
Samantha was picking out something to wear to gymnastics (that's another post all together); she was so excited and talking a mile a minute. In the mean time, I'm trying to hold a conversation with my husband AND keep track of three kids. I was talking to Cory and the kids at the same time. Then the phone fell silent. "Babe, are you there?" I asked. "Yeah" he said. "Just listening" he added as his voice cracked a little. Tears began to fall. He is missing so much and I know its killing him (and us). He talked to both girls and gave them some encouraging words as they embark on new activities. I guess you kind of had to be there, but it was precious! He was happy just listening to the chaos of it all and I know he was wishing he was right there in the mix of it all!

Forgiveness

Forgiveness has never been hard for me to give. As a matter of fact, I'd probably argue that I forgive way to easily most times. But there are some things that I have a hard time forgetting. God calls us to forgive AND forget. But when someone close to you has wronged you, it cuts deep. I'd like to say that I've forgotten some of the most hurtful things in my life, by obviously as I sit and write this, they are still in the back of my mind! Cory always picks at me by saying that I have the brain of an elephant, I can remember everything!! I don't necessarily think this is bad though. I think that as long as you do not harbor any bad feelings for the person who has wronged you or continue to bring it back up, its ok to remember - for future reference. Here's what I mean - when you were a kid and you touched a hot stove, it burned you; so now (hopefully) it is imbedded into your mind to not touch that hot stove... you still cook and use the stove, but you use it more cautiously now. Does that make sense? I think thats why I remember things, to prevent me from being hurt again like that (or by that person); because I remember the hurt that was caused and therefore I am more cautious.
I say all that to say that in the last month, I have tried to right the wrongs of my past (well, most of them). Apologize when needed and forgiven when needed (even if they didn't ask). It has been shocking to me to see the responses. I thought it would turn into a war of words with a few people, but suprisingly it has been a peaceful exchange! I can't even begin to explain how good it feels to let go of that resentment in my heart; leaving room for more LOVE!!! Now that I no longer have pieces of my heart filled with anger and dislike for those who have wronged me, I can give those pieces to a more deserving cause: loving my husband, kids, family and friends even more (who knew that was even possible?!?!)
My friend, Tina, posted a blog in the last couple of days about forgiveness too. She didn't even know what was going on in my little corner of the world, so it was just interesting to know that someone so close to me was thinking about the same thing! She posted some quotes about forgiveness in her blog. I liked them, so I stole them (HeHe - Love ya girl!)

"When you hold resentment toward another, you are bound to that person or condition by an emotional link that is stronger than steel. Forgiveness is the only way to dissolve that link and get free."
- Catherine Ponder

"Always forgive your enemies - nothing annoys them so much." ..:NAMESPACE PREFIX = O />
- Oscar Wilde

"To forgive is to set a prisoner free and discover that the prisoner was you."
- Lewis B. Smedes

"The weak can never forgive. Forgiveness is the attribute of the strong."
- Mahatma Gandhi

"You will know that forgiveness has begun when you recall those who hurt you and feel the power to wish them well."
- Lewis B. Smedes

"When a deep injury is done us, we never recover until we forgive"
- Alan Paton

"We achieve inner health only through forgiveness - the forgiveness not only of others but also of ourselves"
- Joshua Loth Liebman

Month 1 = DONE

As of today, I have officially survived the first month of Cory's deployment. Its definitely been a wave of emotions that has left me feeling a bit "sea sick". I can only hope that things will begin to settle down from here. Cory is doing well. The "big move" has been delayed for a few more days due to weather and decreased security conditions. They are apparently getting hit pretty hard these days. We knew it would happen since the insurgents apparently "hibernate" in the winter - true story, its ridiculous! He's in good spirits and cannot wait to come home!!!
Reese is saying DaDa, but of course not when I'm on the phone with Cory. I want him to hear it so bad, but when I have the phone up to my ear (or his), he just wants to eat it! Still no teeth, but I think I see one about to bust through!
The girls will be starting 1st grade next week. We just found out who their teachers are - I am excited. I think Hailey will play Upward Soccer this year and Sam is wanting to do gymnastics. So they'll be busy as always.
I was supposed to start my job today (blah). But I will not begin until the 25th (YEAH). I've got to have some extra tests run since I've had some unexpected health concerns pop up. Keep those in your prayers!! So I'm just enjoying spending the last days of summer with my kiddos!
We had a great time at the Lake on Sat. Even though I was thrown off the jet ski (and when I say thrown, I mean it) and I'm still finding it hard to walk or lay on my right side, I'm glad I went. I only wish I could find my charger for the camera as well as my USB cable to upload some pics!! I'm sure they are in a box somewhere!
That about sums it up. Everything's still moving along, slowly but surely! Month 1=DONE!!!

Moving on up

The last month has been filled with move after move for the Trotter clan. With me moving from Texas to Cory moving SEVERAL times in A-stan. I absolutely HATE to move. So this has been a bit more stressful than it probably should have been. The thought of having to pack and unpack boxes makes me want to scream.
Yesterday the moving company delivered our stuff. I've had to put it in storage for now since we are not moving into the house for another month. They called at 1:30 pm to tell me they were leaving Atlanta heading here. SIX HOURS later, they arrived - anyone who has been to Atlanta, how long does it take you to make it back to the Upstate? Anyway. As they unloaded my half of the eighteen wheeler (yes, I said half), all I could do was shake my head. I have numerous damaged boxes (water damage and crushed boxes) and I don't even want to think about what may be broken inside. So I guess I have to open up the boxes BEFORE I move to see what the damage is so that I can make a claim. What a nightmare!!!
Cory's moving again, too. Bless his heart. I'm not gonna give too many details due to OPSEC. I'll just say that this should be a definite move up. Better security, better place, better communication (hopefully no more 9 day stretches with no contact). He's so excited. So am I, duh!! Plus he gets to be with some of the people he knows the best! So just say a prayer for him as he's packing once again and will be heading out in the next day or so!
SO, again, if I've given you his address, please let me know so I can give you the NEW address.

Another blogger's blog

All Army wives ( and those others who may be interested), go here and read a very interesting blog!!!

Indecribable peace...

I finally heard from Cory today! YEAH! He had just gotten back from the mountain about an hour before. He's doing well and I cried when I heard his voice (I think he may have cried a little too). I can't even begin to describe the peace I had the moment he said "Hey baby"! Thank you all for your prayers and uplifting words. They definitely helped to make the wave of emotions a lot easier to ride!
Dear Lord,
Thank you for keeping my soldier safe and for keeping me sane (although there were times I had to wonder if I was). Thank you also for giving me such wonderful friends and family. There's no doubt in my mind that they are all angels sent from You to help me as I travel this unknown path!
Amen

Heart stopper

The phone rings. Its a number that looks similar to the one Cory calls from. Its 10:42 am. Why is he calling in the middle of the night (for them)? I answer. The voice on the other side was a foreign voice. "Is this Mrs. Trotter?" they ask with a heavy accent. Could it be Hagi? My heart stops. "Yes, this is she." I reply with what little breath I have as I feel like I've just been punched in the gut. The phone begins to break up...no it can't be. My heart begins to race. "I can't understand you, are you with my husband?" I beg. "No ma'am. This is (I didn't catch his name). I'm with the moving company." He says. "I just wanted to let you know I'll be delivering your household goods tomm sometime." I breathe a sigh of relief. Day 9, still no word!

Waiting (im)Patiently

Its day 8 and still no word from Cory. I would be lying if I said that I am not more than discouraged. I know he's ok, but that doesn't stop me from wanting to at least hear his voice; even if only for just a couple of minutes!! Last week was one of the biggest weeks of our lives together (buying a house) and it should have been one of the happiest, but it wasn't because Cory wasn't here to share it with me. So much has gone on since we last spoke. When we spoke on a consistant basis, I at least was satisfied with sharing over the phone. But now, nothing. Hopefully tomm will bring a call or an uplifting email. Heck, I'd even settle for a smoke signal at this point!!!

If only...

I often find myself thinking of the women who were left behind while their husbands were fighting the early wars in American history. I've always thought how hard it must have been to have their soldier leave and have NO contact, except snail mail (once it came about) until they returned. In today's world, I think that all the technology that has been developed is both a blessing and a curse! I LOVE talking to my hubby when he calls and reading his emails and comments on MySpace. But then when I haven't heard from him in a week and there's bad news circulating, I can't help but think that its almost got to be easier knowing NOTHING than knowing only partial details. Honey, if you're out there - CT PHONE HOME!!!! If only I could hear your voice...