Monday, November 19, 2007

All in a years time...

A year ago today was one of the hardest days of my life (to date, at least). I'll never forget that day as long as I live. Cory and I spent the night before in Columbia - I didn't sleep a wink because all I wanted to do was look at him and memorize every thing about him. We woke up before the crack of dawn and headed down to breakfast. I ate nothing for fear that the knots in my stomach would cause me to puke. We drove over to Fort Jackson for Cory to finish pulling together the loose ends of his contract and to swear back in to the Army. In the early afternoon, we headed over to the Airport there in Columbia. We weren't sure if I could go to the gate with him due to post 9/11 regulations, but the angel behind the desk at the Continental flight check in must have seen the despair in my eyes as I thought I would have to say goodbye to my fiance' (we had just gotten engaged a few weeks earlier) in the Food Court. She gave me a temporary Gate pass so that I could go and sit with him until his plane left, God Bless that woman!!!! As we sat at the gate, we realized that his flight as actually been delayed a couple of hours. Part of me was elated at the news and another part of me felt like we were just putting off the inevitable. I spent the remainder of the time holding tightly to my soldier, for fear that if I let him go, they would take him sooner. I can't remember what we talked about and what was said, I just new that as long we were together, I would be fine. I am proud to say that I kept my composure most of the day, I was strong for him as I knew it would break his heart to see me cry. Around 6 pm, the final boarding call came for his flight. I gave him one last hug and began to ball. The people around me probably thought I was sending him to war the way I cried, they probably would have looked at me differently had they known he was only going to Texas. He boarded the plane but not without giving me one last look and that half smile that I fell in love with only 4 months prior. I cried the ENTIRE way through the airport, to the car (in the pouring rain, I might add), then the whole way home and I mean the whole way home. I called my mom and Amy and balled. Through the tears, I found my way back to Spartanburg. This was just the begining of a year that would be filled with many trials and tribulations, tears and smiles and some of the hardest goodbyes one could say.
Today is our one year anniversary in the Active Duty Army. The first of three we will have. While the active duty is not what we expected and there hasn't been one day that one or both of us has not expressed the regret we have for signing up for this, I feel this is a journey we had to take and it will only ensure our successful marriage in the future. It has allowed us to build a foundation that is not easily swayed. Here in Texas we have been forced to rely solely on each other and build a relationship I feel would have been difficult to form if we lived in such close proximity of our family to bail us out when the waters got rough!!! As I've stated in previous blogs, I cannot imagine taking this journey with anyone else. I realize that our future promises us to say at least one more heart-wrenching goodbye in July when Cory deploys, and maybe more if God sees it fit to only give Cory a "one way ticket" to the sand box, but regardless of what the future brings, I will always cherish the memories we've made here - the good and the bad!!!
To my soldier -
I can't believe its already been a year. I can honestly say that I could have never imagined that I would love you more today that I did this day one year ago!!! I am more proud of you than words could express. Despite the hardships your job brings us daily, you wear that uniform proudly!! I could go on and on about why I love you, but I'll save the readers from all of that!! You are my best friend and hero (along with many other titles). I love you to the end of the numbers - NO REGRETS!!!!!!!! Happy anniversary!


Anonymous said...


That was the best thing I have ever read. One year ago was awful for me, too. If I could have looked into the future I would not have gotten onto that aircraft- but I did, and here we are. Alhought I hate the Active Army more everyday, I LOVE you more everyday. You didn't have to be the one who came with me, or marry me because I was a soldier and the life is often hard and shitty, as we have both experienced. But, you did, and made me the happiest man on earth. I never like saying goodbye, and it is so hard for me to do so without breaking down hardcore.. I have always saved it for in the plane, etc., because I knew it would make you even more sad. Leaving you for those months will not compare to leaving you for a year and a half for Afghanistan, It will be a sorrow for me of immense proportions, one that will take me a long time to get over in order to focus on the mission! But, it will be the final goodbye on our trail, as for when I return from saving soldier's lives and killing a few assholes, we will be saying goodbye to Ft. Hood and Texas, as well as the Active Army.

There is no way in hell I will have a one way ticket to the sandbox. I refuse to die over there, because I finally have something worth living for at home. You, the girls, and Reese are MY family- I refuse to let you live your life without a husband, and our children to live their life without a father who loves them and sets the good example- to help teach the girls right from wrong, love them unconditionally, and give them unwavering support. Reese needs me to show him the love only a father to a son can give, and to show him how to grow up to be a good man and in turn, a kind, loving father. I will not die until my mission has been complete here on earth, and it is not finished in some damn desert thousands of miles away from my family. I thank you for your love and support daily- you have been a blessing to me, my angel on earth. I will always be the man you need me to be- not from here to Afghanistan- it's to the end of numbers.

Love, Me